Al-Qaeda Into Toy Production??!!

The picture above is a scan of the box of an item my wife won at the local Garden Party here in Newfoundland. It is a lamp which revolves and lights up with a aquarium scene on it. Before taking it from the box I looked at the four available scenes for the lamp, all aquarium scenes except for one!


Look at the scene that is available on the far right. It looks like a scene of the World Trade Centre in New York City, with a passenger jet flying toward it and also a helicopter flying above it.



Kind of suspicious, don't you think??

Oops, I Did It Again!

The story "Strange Bed Fellows" was about me falling. Well I have had a few instances of me going “arse over kettle” as they say on the rock. I’m not sure what would be the cause of this; if I’m just clumsy or just not paying attention to where I am going.

While employed with Jasper Park Lodge as Public Area Houseman, I used a pick-up truck to do most of our guest calls at night. After 11 pm we were allowed to park our pick-up in the front of the main doors of the Lodge in the Bus Zone. Between the Bus Zone and the main doors was an “island” of sorts of mainly bushes. There were also a couple of pathways between the bushes. Where these were located was not where I thought they were on this particular night.

At approximately midnight I received a call and hurried to my vehicle as we only allow 15 minutes per call. Coming out the front doors of the Lodge from a brightly lit lobby to virtual total darkness, I walked across the “island” into what I thought was the pathway. It was not. I fell like a tree into a pile of thorn bushes.

It was very painful to try and get up as everywhere I touched there were thorns. I finally got up and I had thorns imbedded in just about every inch of skin except for my face, which I protected as I fell using my hands. I passed my call to someone else and went back to my staff accommodation and changed uniforms. That helped a little but I spent about two weeks picking thorns from my body.

Probably the biggest scare I ever received involved this next incident. It was very dark and I was walking to go to one of the many housekeeping closets on the JPL property. I am not even sure what I was actually looking for but I will certainly remember this.

I was walking in an area that was very dark. There were some cabins and I was crossing the grassy area in front of them. All of a sudden I heard people shouting. At first I was not sure if they were shouting to me so I kept walking. The more I walked the more these people shouted until their shouts became screams. I finally turned my head to see what their problem was but continued to walk. Next thing I remember was falling and while in mid air realized I had tripped over a lying bull elk!

Landing on the other side I rolled for a bit as at that point I thought I was going to be killed by an angry elk. I stopped rolling and landed on my butt in a sitting position. There I sat face to face with an elk which I had just fallen over. The elk did not appear angry, more amused than anything. Surprisingly as this was the “mating” season. He was probably thinking “another stupid human”. My heart was beating out of my chest as I sat there as I did not know how I should get up. When I saw that the elk showed no interest in me, I slowly moved to my feet and slowly backed away. I could not run as my legs were wobbly and didn’t want to work. I made it back to the main Lodge where I discovered I had to go home immediately.

That evening luckily for me there was no movement from the elk. Unfortunately I can’t say the same about me. I had to go home to change my clothes, for I had “pooped” myself!

Vandals Beware!

This article was published in June 2007 (Issue # 70 Volume 10) of “The New Wave” which is a publication of The Hub in St. John’s, Newfoundland. I’m glad I am not the only adult who thinks kids these days are “getting away with murder”.

Make'em pay so it hurts. That's what I say. Congratulations to the City of Mount Pearl in your efforts to rid us of vandalism. And, yes it's the teenagers and younger of us that I'm pointing my finger at, you are the guilty party. Every time I see a once beautiful information or history billboard defrayed with gutter words and nasty phrases, I want to puke. Whenever I see a broken beer bottle in a playground I want to scream. But most of all every time I see it, I know you did it. I don't know why, I wish I did, maybe then and only then will it end.

Seems as if Mount Pearl has had enough; they are hoping to do something about it. When I spoke with Councilor Ed Grant he compared his proposal to the City of Calgary. In Calgary, he told me, parents are fined up to $5,000 if their child is found responsible for any destruction of property. Then he reminded me that the city of Calgary is one of the cleanest cites in Canada. So now, the City of Mount Pearl intends to take steps to be given the authority to charge the parents for the crime of their child.

Councilor Ed Grants explains, "The Council's discussion stems from a recommendation the City is putting forward at the annual NLFM convention advocating improvements to the Young Offenders Act. The ultimate responsibility is Federal but we hope the convention will adopt our recommendations. One part does speak to parent/guardian responsibilities. We advocate that the offender be made more responsible for his/her actions and that the cost burden not be borne solely by the victim. I commented that if the offender is caught and convicted he/she be made responsible or if due to age/ financial circumstance, etc. this is not realistic that the parents/ guardians bear some liability. This may have the effect of reducing incidents by seeing more adult control. I realize there may be nuances to various situations but the principle is sound. I expect most parents already accept responsibility when confronted and this would simply better enforce the liability issue. Often the victims are in no better financial shape than the offender/ offender's family and are often seniors and women. Finally, I feel this principle along with significant fines might go a long way to reducing crimes like graffiti, senseless vandalism and similar activities that affect the quality of people's lives. While some of these issues might not appear to be major in the big scheme of things they are very important and disturbing to the various victims".

Yep, hit them where it hurts, in the pocket book. That's what I say. A dollar figure hasn't been decided yet, but Mr. Grant gave me a figure that I think is to low. They are just too nice; no wonder everybody wants to live in Mount Pearl. Go higher I say, add another zero! That otta hurt!

When we were kids, if any one of us, no matter who's kid we were , if any of us ever broke a neighbor's window, we'd be paying for the rest of our sorry young lives. The chores would double and the allowance would disappear. We'd live a life of torture for at least a month. No television, no dessert, no nothing!! But, we learned for it. We didn't repeat our sinful ways for too long. We grew up and became responsible adults. What about the kids today. They screw up and nobody notices until, sometimes, it's too late. You kids out there, you are our future. Didn't anybody tell you that? If not or if were napping at the time, I'm telling you again. You are our future, so stop screwing up. If you feel the need to try and prove how tough you are, or if by slashing tires or writing graffiti all over the place, or maybe sneaking off into the woods with beer on your back, is your way of being cool, it's not working. What would work much better would be for you to capture all that energy and transplant it to where it will pay dividends. Allow me to explain; if you are a graffiti culprit, take art lessons. Maybe you are the next best artist that ever put a brush to canvas, but you'll never know if you don't try. If it's beer in the back pack type you are, you should take your empties home with you. Oh yea, that's evidence!! If your parents see empty beer bottles, they'll get suspicious. Very astute of you. At the very least then, bring them to a recycling depot. Didn't you know you get money for empties? Da!! Breaking them and leaving dangerous broken glass in our beautiful forests can hurt an innocent little furry creature, or worse, scar a young child. For my money, I don't believe you even think when you do the things you do, you're not bad people, and you are victims of the times. I feel sorry for you. I see you guys out in the worst Newfoundland weather, freezing your butts off and sharing a cigarette. You'd rather be there than sitting in the comfort of your own home………………..Something is wrong with that picture. And I now point my finger at us the parents. We are as guilty as we are stupid. We are so busy working, gambling, drinking, or whatever other excuse crops up, that we are losing our children. Let's give ourselves a shake here. It's time to make things right. In the end we are all guilty to some degree.

a) Absent or weak parents, b) disinterested teachers who allow the child to fall through the cracks, c) television for promoting violence, d) the justice system for going easy on young offenders, and last but far from least you, the child, for taking the most traveled road; you know who you are, you follow the gang rather than being an individual who thinks for him/herself; you don't give it your best, because of that, you are failing in school; or perhaps you're suffering from a lousy home life so you take your anger out on in-animate objects or kids who are weaker than you.

Come-on kids, lets break the prototype. Ask yourselves, "Where would I like to be in ten years from now?" Then go for it.

Looney Tunes!

Some of you guys from the Banff Caribou Lodge may remember this incident. In the hotel and hospitality business you get to meet some very strange individuals; especially when you are the Night Auditor. This one particular night at approximately 12:45 am, a British male guest who I will call “Wally”, came to the Front Desk and whispered: “Is there somewhere in private I could speak to you?” He seemed to be slightly upset but before I could answer he said in a much louder voice: “I AM 20 years old!”

In my mind I was thinking; “Man, what’s going on now!” I told him we could go into the Office and I showed him the way and followed him in. I did not close the door to the Office because I was unsure what this guy was going to do, so for my own safety I stayed next to the door and left it open. When we were both in the Office, he told me he believed he was being drugged. I asked him how he was being drugged and he told me that someone was spiking his drinks. I asked where he was drinking and he told me it was at the Keg Lounge.

I asked him if he would like to speak to the Manager on duty in the Keg. He told me no. I then asked him if he knew who was spiking his drink. At this point he told me he believed it was his father. He then told me he wanted the police called. He was also beginning to get quite upset. I brought him out of the Office and asked him to have a seat in the Lobby while I called the police; which I did. I told the Officer on the telephone what “Wally” told me. The Officer told me they would be there as soon as possible, as they were very busy with a major incident downtown. I told them that would be fine and that “Wally” would wait for them in the Lobby.

Meanwhile “Wally” began to get more and more upset with every passing minute. I tried to calm him down as best I could by talking with him, as this, it seemed, is something he really wanted, someone to talk to. He told me he smokes and he left to get his cigarettes in his room. He came back and said he could not find them. He asked if he could get some in the store and charge it to his room. I told him it would be no problem and I got some cigarettes for him. By this time he is crying like a baby at the Front Desk. I continued to speak with him but sometimes it was hard to understand him through his crying and his British accent. He went outside by the door to have a cigarette and I could hear him crying from the Front Desk. The Keg Manager came to the Front Desk at this time with dry-cleaning. I briefly explained the situation to him while “Wally” was outside by the door. “Wally” came back to the Front Desk. The Keg Manager asked him if he would like a glass of water and he said yes. He got “Wally” a glass of water but by this time he was getting worse and then told me that he was convinced his father was going to kill him.

He also told me at this time that his brother and sister were being drugged also. He continued saying his parents are divorced and that his father (and his girlfriend) brought all the children on vacation so he could kill all of them. He was extremely paranoid and was talking about suicide instead of having to go through this hell. “Wally” then started having hallucinations. He was convinced that his father and girlfriend were trying to escape from the hotel and he saw them leave through the stairs to the parkade. With this he sprinted out through the front doors to try and stop them. Of course nobody was out there.

As soon as he came back, I tried to calm him again and to get him to sit down. He did not. I also called the police back and told them they had to send someone immediately as “Wally” was now hallucinating and extremely upset and convinced that he and his siblings were going to die. I was actually in fear that he was going to do something to injure himself or others around him. The police immediately sent 3 Officers and they arrived within 1 minute of my second phone call.

Upon entering the hotel, one Officer took “Wally” outside to his patrol car to talk. Within a couple of minutes the Officer came in the Lobby to tell us that he was going to take him to the hospital immediately to be checked. “Wally” also told the Officer that he never smoked or taken any type of drug since being in Banff. The other 2 Officers went into the Rooms to check on the father, girlfriend, brother and sister. After approximately 10 minutes an Officer came out to tell me that everyone was fine. The Father told the police that the son was acting very strange since his arrival in Banff. The Officers took the Girlfriend and Father to the hospital to visit their son.

Approximately 2 hours later the Father and Girlfriend came back without their son. It was discovered later that the son was a drug user in Britain and then got some “bad” drugs in Banff. This was the effect they had on him.

Strange Bed Fellows!

While employed with Jasper Park Lodge as a Public Area Supervisor, my team and I were responsible for completing guest calls during the hours between 11:00 pm and 7:00 am. When you have a 440 plus room hotel, sometimes it can get quite busy.

One night I had quite an embarrassing call. Actually I have had many but this is just one of those unfortunate incidents that seem to always occur to me.

At approximately 1:30 am, I received a call from a guest who heard a strange noise coming from his bathroom. I asked the receptionist who answered the telephone if he specified what type of noise. With a slight laughter in her voice she said it was a gurgling noise. I thought to myself, I have had a few noises come from my bathroom when I was in there but I wouldn’t call them gurgling!

I proceeded to the guest cabin and knocked on the door. A Japanese gentleman who looked to be in his late 20’s early 30’s opened the door. I told him I was there to investigate the noise coming from his bathroom. He just stared at me and said nothing, so I asked if I may come in. Without saying a word, he motioned for me to enter the room. The room was completely dark, so thinking he was going to turn on some light for me I proceeded to walk straight.

Now having 446 rooms in the hotel with many different room configurations, it was impossible for me to know every one, even if I have been in many of them. This caused a huge problem for me that night as the room was smaller than I had thought. So just after a few steps forward something hit me in the kneecaps. It was the bed.

Down I went, on top of the gentlemen’s poor wife! I knew there was a body under me as I could feel it, but it did not move. Oh my God, had I killed her?! The gentleman who let me in was still standing at the open door. He must have heard me fall, as I am not a small guy so anything I do involves some noise, especially falling!

Trying to get up off the lady was a predicament, as in the dark I did not want to touch anything I shouldn’t be touching. Although I am sure I touched everything as I put my hands up to try and feel my way around before I discovered I had a female pinned under me.

Since the gentleman at the door still had not turned on a light so I could see, I realized the best way was to roll onto the floor between the bed and the wall. I made a loud “thump” as I hit the floor and wall. Lying on the floor, I fumbled to get the tiny flashlight I always carried. The gentleman, still at the door, said nothing. The lady in the bed still did not make a sound.

I hurried to my feet and using my flashlight found my way to the bathroom. I was too embarrassed to look in the direction of the bed. I discovered the noise was coming from a pipe on the outside of the building. I told the gentleman this from the bathroom, not worrying about waking up his wife as I figured after what just happened, she had to be awake, even if she did not make any sound.

On my way out of the bathroom I informed the guest that there was nothing that could be done at the moment but I would get maintenance to look after it first thing in the morning. He still did not respond. Then just as I was at the door approximately where I fell, the light of my flashlight shone brightly on the features of my victim.

There lying in the bed with beautiful long blond hair, blue eyes, and an opened mouth with bright red lipstick was a life size rubber sex doll!

The Chicken Dance

Before moving to Alberta in 1998 I was employed for six years as a clown. I attended many children’s parties, both as a clown and as many other characters. My specialty was “Singing Telegrams” which were mainly done for adults. I would usually surprise them at work, compliments of their co-workers.

One of the most common characters at the time for children (and even sometimes adults) was Barney the purple dinosaur. It seemed as though whenever I would do this character, some little boy would kick or punch me in the groin. Little boys were always the worst. They were more interested in attacking me as opposed to the girls who always wanted to hug the character. Although if you think about it, if you met Barney in person, wouldn’t you want to punch him in the groin too, I know I would!

Throughout the six years I had a few costume malfunctions. Usually caused by some little boy who wanted to see how much force it would take to rip off the Pink Panther’s tail or how hard he would have to punch me before I would knock him “accidentally” up the side of my head. “Sorry madam I couldn’t see the little fellow. It’s very hard to see out of this mask!”

Of course going to strange places dressed in a costume when I did not have peripheral vision was sometimes dangerous. High schools were usually the most dangerous. After the following incident we gave up schools all together.

I had a singing telegram to do in a high school at lunch time. A teacher was supposed to meet me outside at my van and escort me in to the cafeteria and back out again. When he did not show I proceeded on my own. Before reaching the door some idiot tried to catch my costume, a large white gorilla, on fire with a lighter. Luckily for me the material was flame retardant and did not catch but did leave a burn mark. Someone also threw a lit cigarette at me which got caught in the fur and stayed there until I took off the suit. I made it into the school and a teacher met me inside and brought me to the cafeteria and then abandoned me. I completed my performance and left the cafeteria. Walking through the hallway some guy pushed me into a locker hard enough to cause me to fall down. Soon as I hit the floor, he gave me a kick to the ribs. The guy thought this was very funny. Luckily the padding from the suit and my arm took most of the blow, but I was furious. As I knew what he looked like but he did not know me from my costume, I went back with the principal and then had him charged with assault. He was also kicked out of school as he was the school bully and was on his last leg.

That was probably the worst incident which happened to me during my “party” employment. I did have a very embarrassing incident which happened the week before coming to Alberta on my last day of work. I still believe I was set up for this one.

I had to go to Memorial University’s Breezeway Club and sing “Happy Birthday” to a girl in the middle of the dance floor dressed as a big yellow chicken. I arrived at the club, which at that time was one of the biggest dance clubs in Newfoundland. Someone met me at my van and escorted me in, as was planned. The bar was packed with wall to wall people and we had trouble getting through the crowd. My escort had me by the hand and we eventually made it to the middle of the dance floor. I was brought to the Birthday girl and the dance music stopped and everyone became amazingly quiet.

I started singing “Happy Birthday to you” and just as I had finished the last line, my worse fears in this business happened; the girl grabbed the head of my costume and made a run for it. After a few seconds of realizing what happened I took off in pursuit of my head! As I started fighting my way through the crowd with everyone laughing at me, I heard the DJ speak. “He’s a little request for our yellow friend on the dance floor, The Chicken Dance”

So here I was, running through a wall of people dressed in all yellow from my neck down trying to catch the girl who took my head as “The Chicken Dance” song played in the background. I was unable to catch the girl, so dejected and embarrassed I walked back to my van all along getting laughs from people outside the club.

Just as I had taken off the rest of my chicken suit the girl came by the van to return my head and to apologize. Even if the apology was though laughter, I forgave her. She gave me a hug and I thought to myself, I’m glad I am moving to Alberta!

The Ghost of JPL

I have never been a strong believer in ghosts. After my experience one early morning at Jasper Park Lodge I had to rethink a little more about my beliefs.

It was 5:00 am on March 10, 2000. For anyone who is familiar with JPL, there is a restaurant just off the Great Hall called the Moose’s Nook. In this restaurant was a large server station which I used to get clean water for various cleaning projects. I was employed as a Public Area Houseperson at this time.

On this particular morning I was at the server station which was located in an area where I could see the entire dining room including all exits. I filled up my bucket with water and proceeded to leave the server station and something caught my eye. Near the back and to the left, sitting at a table was an elderly lady. She had short grayish coloured hair and was wearing a dark blouse and what looked like an old style apron, with the straps made of a white frilly material. I could only see her from the chest up as she was sitting with her arms on the table in a folded position. Her head was leaning forward as if she was praying.

Now in a hotel the size of JPL we would always get guests early in the morning looking for breakfast. As all the lights were on in the restaurant, I assumed she thought the restaurant was open for breakfast and looked as though she was waiting for someone to join her.

Turning toward the lady I said in a louder than normal voice, “Good Morning, May I help you?” Her head started to rise just as I took my eyes off her and focused on the chairs I was walking around so I would not fall down. Resuming my glance a split second later in her direction, I felt a cold rush of air run through me. The lady was gone. I immediately had goose bumps run up my spine. (I still get them even now as I write this.) It was physically impossible for any human to leave through one of the 3 exit doors in the split second I had taken my eyes off her. I stood there for a few minutes just staring, as I was in disbelief of what just occurred.

I left the Moose’s Nook and started walking toward the Front Desk. A Security Officer and the Night Auditor were standing outside the desk chatting and when they saw me, as they told me later, I was a pasty white. They asked me immediately what was wrong as they could see something happened. I told them of my experience and the Security Officer went with me back to the restaurant and I showed him where the lady was sitting. I immediately got goose bumps again as I approached the table where the elderly lady was sitting. Arriving at the table, we saw that a chair was moved out and tipped over backward as if someone got up in a hurry.

Needless to say word spread very quickly about this incident. I did some research and apparently there have been ghost sightings throughout the years at JPL. One in particular involves an elderly husband and wife. The wife was always seen in the dining room, the husband was always wandering on the outside. The story was that this lady would be always sitting in the dining room waiting for her husband to come and eat.

Upon further research I was shown a photograph from the dining room taken in the 1920’s. The photograph was suppose to be of a ghost and showed an empty dining room with a shadowy figure sitting at one of the tables. As I stared at the photo, my jaw dropped. It looked to be the same lady I had seen!

To my knowledge, at least up until I left Jasper in May 2002, the actual photograph was hung in the Great Hall near the Moose’s Nook. I was told the story of my encounter was also mentioned at employee orientation. I had become a small part of the legend of the ghosts. To this day, I still can’t believe what my eyes saw that early morning at Jasper Park Lodge.

Another Sicko!!

While at the Gym I was watching the news on one of the many television screens they have and seen a story about a 19 year old who put a 2 month old baby in a Microwave and turned it on. Check out the story here. The baby survived but is in critical condition.

I can’t believe someone is that sick to do such a thing. He faces up to 99 years in prison but if they had real justice, they would string him up in the town square like they did 1000 years ago and let all the parents of children stone him to death. Well at least in the United States, usually the punishment fits the crime; unlike here in Canada; where the criminals have more rights than the victims. The Young Offenders Act is just a joke, and will always be that was because the judges are afraid to give out any sort of punishment to fit the crime. They are certainly not afraid to take their huge paycheques every week. Look at the story of 15 year old Matthew Churchill, killed by a hit and run driver, who admitted to it and then was sentenced and only served 4 months! Yet his parents Rod & Desma are sentenced to a lifetime of grieving for their only child.

What Goes Around.....

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog.

He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer.

At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of."

And that he did.

In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St .Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia. What saved him? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around. Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

The Masterpiece!

A couple of weeks ago I was away from home for about 4 days. My school I attend is in Bay Roberts which is about 1 hour from St. John's, so before my first day at the school I stayed with relatives in Brigus which is very close to Bay Roberts. Anyway when I got home my daughter ran to me as soon as I got in the door and handed me this picture all folded in her little hand with a big grin on her face. To everyone else it's just scribbles, to me it's a Masterpiece!